trust.

Trust. It is something that takes time to build and something that is difficult to rebuild once broken. I recognize the ways I’ve broken trust, and I’m aware of how others have broken mine. This awareness has allowed me to take my time while getting to know people, as I’ve also gotten to know myself through their reflection.

In the past, I allowed trust to be shaped by the expectations of others. This made it difficult to trust what was true for me, as I let their opinions override my own. Yet, I’ve come to a place where I now trust those around me, and in turn, I’ve found a deeper trust in myself.

It’s been shared openly over the years that I live with a mind that has been injured. Whether that injury is physical, emotional or mental, it’s the result of accepting someone else’s perception of truth when it was misaligned with what my mind knew to be genuine for me.

I forgive myself for trusting people too quickly in the past, for ignoring red flags and making exceptions for others whom I wanted in my life from a place of need, rather than aligning with the ones who were truly meant to walk with me along this path.

I accept myself for what I’ve been through and how those experiences impacted my reasoning, as I lived in a perpetual state of survival. I am grateful that, despite the abuse I’ve endured, I’ve been strong enough to adapt and overcome the stressors that once controlled my ability to listen to and trust myself.

I understand that everything that has happened in my life has been because I chose for it to happen. Some might say it’s written in the stars... and perhaps that’s true! But, I acknowledge my actions, especially the times I acted from a broken mindset to escape or satisfy my ego.

I am the one who has made every decision in my life. I know why I did what I did when I did it. I had hope that, while I was wandering, I might stumble upon a life that felt right—one that would bring me peace in leaving behind what was once true for me.

I was always trying to be someone I wasn’t. I was working with less than I had, while others looked upon me as though I were simply one of the lucky ones. While I acknowledge my blessings, I also recognize that great blessings come with many trials. To experiment with curiosity and explore different paths in life demands stepping through many doors of fear.

Once you decide to step through a doorway, you must keep stepping until you realize whether you’re going in the right direction, or until you find the awareness to see that you’ve strayed too far and lost sight of your path. Either way, we each make those decisions, and we can all recognize moments when we’ve taken steps in the wrong direction, guided by a perception of trust and hope that we got it right.

It is only through this perspective that I’ve come to complete trust that I am now on my true path. I see trust in the faces of those around me, while the universe continues to respond to the subtle frequencies of what I need and want. I’ve found a resonance of inclusion as I’ve opened myself to trust others. From that space, I can see that others trust me. That is how I know I am aligned with my true path. So, for the ones I met by happenstance, I’m deeply grateful to have encountered you. I now recognize that I needed to go through so many lessons, because through my ego-driven need for approval, I guided myself into spaces of danger... places that left me vulnerable to injury, in oder to know what it truly means to feel safe.

While others may strive to promote an image of perfection or dogmatic purity, I was able to see beyond the surface, recognizing the truth that lives in their shadows. The time I spent in spaces that once felt like prison walls has only made me stronger, for I now understand the complexity of the human condition. It’s this understanding that allows me to approach life with greater clarity, realizing deeper truth of what it means to feel and fear.

I had a desire to be seen, a desire to feel important. And while that is something that can only be generated from within, I lost my way beyond the walls of what was safe. Without standing in front of a clear mirror, even our own image can become distorted. I know how I lost parts of myself within others, because I allowed them to project a version of who they needed me to be, in order to meet them where they were.

In a sense, everyone got what they were looking for. Everyone should be content with how things have unfolded. I, for one, feel immense gratitude that I’ve been directed out of spaces that took more from me than they gave back. Anyone can fake it for a period of time, but that’s not the purpose of life. Life’s purpose is to stand firm upon the Earth, unshaken by the chaos of the world, and to help bring stability in times of turmoil.

So while I see chaos in the world, I recognize that I have aligned with my true path, because in all the storms that surround me, I remain unshakable. I am sure of who I am, because I was blessed with the drive, mind, and ability to seek knowledge for the purpose of truth. I am blessed to have gained a wide perspective, understanding the human condition, and recognizing equality on a global scale.

Sometimes, it takes being in the minority, the one who is judged or cast out, to truly understand what justice means. That is the only way I’ve been able to temper the scales within myself, honoring both my shimmer and my shadow, knowing both are true and real without reinforcing them dramatically with my ego. I understand how the ego can become the heart’s best friend. It just takes honoring our truth to allow both our apparent dualities to find peace and agreement.

When we fake a persona, the two are at battle, fighting for dominance. But when we act from true authenticity, there is no struggle... our heart and mind are in alignment, and both are at peace. The goal is not to battle ourselves or belittle our unspoken desires, needs, or addictions. The goal is to find a balance between honoring what we know and what we feel, so we can amplify our gifts without abandoning any part of ourselves.

When we live from a place of self-care, our true self will always guide us in what we need. A problem arises when either our ego or heart takes control without allowing the time to communicate. Our duality must support our whole self. If we’re succumbing to thoughts or beliefs promoted by others, we cannot make decisions based on self-trust.

So, now I’ll ask you:

How many of your choices in life have been made based on someone else’s beliefs?

How is your inner dialogue?

How is your physical health, and what does your body show you every day?

Are you using your ego to find alternatives that support your heart?

Does your heart trust itself, and is its yearning heard and understood by your mind?

These questions will guide anyone toward greater self-awareness. We all possess awareness, but sometimes it can be expanded to include many perspectives. In the grand scheme, this can limit how much we truly understand ourselves. When we identify with a group, team, or belief system, we sometimes dismiss our personal awareness of what is true for us, simply to gain validation from others... even if it means continuously breaking our own heart.

Do you see the delicate balance? At the end of the day, we want to belong and be surrounded by love. But if we bypass our heart and act from our mind alone, we’ll always be in pursuit of validation, rather than finding peace within ourselves. True validation must come from within, and that self awareness allows us to trust ourselves more.

Trust must be cultivated by inspired action and a sense of pride in accomplishment. Once we trust ourselves, it becomes evident who trusts us, and our mind can accept the wisdom of the heart. Only then can we accept the blessings of acceptance and inclusion, without the desire to become something more. Once we understand that we already are, and we accept ourselves as we are, we will see that the universe has been supporting us all along.

It only takes tuning into ourselves, getting clear on what we need and want, and taking inspired action to make that happen. We are always supported in our aspirations, but we must be sure that what we aspire to what is true for us. If it is not, we will find ourselves at rock bottom again and again, questioning what more we have to change to succeed in order to accept ourselves. Well, could you trust your true nature as being pure and whole and allowing yourself to lean into uncomfortability with curiosity rather than rigidity?

My prayer for you is that you are blessed to see the truth in the mirror in front of you—that you can discern from within, not from without. May you accept yourself and your path, taking each step with clarity toward the life you’ve always envisioned and truly deserve. I hope the mirrors before you are clear, and that you have the awareness to listen to what’s happening within, rather than being guided by what you see without. May truth prevail, and may we all find peace on our path. 🙏🏼